Monday, May 16, 2011

My Visit to the Plastic Surgeon today

Plastic surgeon, cosmetic surgeon - call them what you may, but today I sat in the office of one. Sure, all of us have thought about turning back the hands of time with a nip here and a tuck there, haven't we?  Most of us won't actually do it, but if we're honest with ourselves, we've thought about it - which brings me to why I was sitting in Dr. Pillai's office today at Ballantyne. 

During a routine checkup a few weeks ago, my doctor noticed a small bump on my forehead that he wanted me to have looked at.  And please, no jokes - I've already suffered at the hands of my husband these last few weeks by being called knot-head - but it's all in fun.  He's just paying me back for calling him that a few times over the years.  Do you know you can learn a lot of cool stuff sitting in a cosmetic surgeon's office?  Everyone seems to want to talk "before" and "after".  Some even have pictures.  I assured them I was just there for the knot on my head and they seemed disappointed. I could see their skepticism - "sure", they were thinking, "she's getting that saggy neck lifted and probably a little botox around the eyes, and look at those droopy eyelids - surely she's having something done about that".  "I hope it's not melanoma", one sweet little lady told me.   I told her my doctor thought it was just a basal cell carcinoma and she seemed happy enough.

When Dr. Pillai walked in, I could imagine that I saw a huge grim spread across his face.  Aha, he thought, I can make lots of money off this one!  But he didn't blink an eye when I showed him the bump on my head and he agreed with my doctor thinking it was a simple skin cancer.   As he reached for the door to go out, I called him back.  "Umm, I was just wondering", I said.  He came back and sat down.  "Since I'm here anyway......"  "Yes?", he said.  I started pointing out my 62 year old features, asking him what would be involved with this and that and could he give me a ballpark figure on what something like that would cost.  He started explaining the procedures and starting pointing out things that I didn't even know I had - my poor vision does have it's advantages sometimes.  There would be an incision under my chin to pull some of those muscles back together, a little liposuction at the jawline, more incisions behind my ears for a little lift.  And all this for a mere $5000 plus hospital expenses.

"OK", I said, "you've given me something to think about.  I'll come back when I win the lottery".  I really didn't say the last thing about the lottery, but I could tell he knew what I was thinking - he didn't look very optimistic.

You know, I don't suppose that's a lot of money for shaving a few years off your face, but I could think of so many better things I could do with that money.  It's not like we're rich or anything, and just have that much laying around in a sock drawer.  So, for now I'll take comfort in the fact that all my friends are aging right along with me, and heck, I might even lose some of them if I suddenly looked 10 years younger that they do.  And, oh yeah, I would have to show restaurants my driver's license to get a senior citizens discount.  And, poor Henry would have to explain why he robbed the cradle when he married me.  You have to think about all those things, you know?   For now, I'll just frequent the cosmetic counter and hope for the best!  But Dr. Pillae, if I ever win that lottery, I'll be back.


  1. The Brits are still a long way behind the Americans on this front - but I have noticed that we seem more pre-occupied than we used to be.
    Whenever I the thought so much as crosses my mind I hear the cynical voice of my dear old mother-in-law "A thing of beauty and a boy forever" and I think grow old gracefully old girl!

  2. Loved this post today, Glenda! I'm 64, so I'm probably much worse than you!! Of course we all want to look as good as we can, and why not? When you think what people in their 60's used to look like! I'm sure that by the time my daughters get to be our age, they will be able to just walk into a booth and come out looking ten years younger! Hope my little Rube is doing okay and that Olive is still looking after him/her well!

  3. Jane, that's a cute saying from your mother-in-law. My generation - especially because of living in the South - exposed ourselves to way too much sun in our early days. Getting a "tan" was a must and it especially took it's toll on the ones of us who are blonde and have fair skin.

    Thisisme, Rube and Olive are doing great. It's still comical to see that great big bird being followed around by one you can hardly see!

  4. Well, it's good that you learned a lot from visiting a plastic surgeon. It's true that most people who visit a surgeon would like to talk about the situations before and after the surgeries. Good luck winning the lottery, if you're really planning to play it.


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