Friday, February 18, 2011

If roadside trash could talk.....

In my new ever present writing frame of mind, I see a story in everything - so watch out, keep your secrets to yourself, because you never know who or what I'm going to write about next.  Genevieve loves to help me pick up trash off the roadside in front of our house and down the road a bit on the days I pick her up at the bus stop. We always wear disposable gloves and sometimes use one of those little long armed "grabbers" if something looks particularly weird. During one of our trash clean-up episodes, I started thinking, "If only this trash could talk, what stories would it tell?"  Then I decided that I would embellish a little and tell the "stories" of some recent finds.

Found:  A full bottle of hair salon hairspray.

Patty Puff and Ricky Rude are on their way to a movie.  Patty was running late when Ricky arrived so she decided to put on makeup and fix her hair in the car on the way.  She pulled down the little mirror on the passenger side sun visor and began.  A little make-up, a little lip gloss and next - the hair.  The finishing touch for the hair required the use of the brand new aerosol can of hairspray she just bought from her stylist last week. $18 for hairspray!, she thought.  Oh well, maybe it would give her the look that she always had when the stylist finished with her.  She gave it a hefty spray and the car was filled with a choking fog.  Ricky Rude coughed and sputtered and grabbed the can from Patty.  He said a few choice words, rolled down all the windows and threw the can out in a huff.  Patty Puff's hair was limp, Ricky Rude coughed up $18 bucks for the hairspray - but love is forgiving and they gazed into each other's eyes all during the movie.

Found: A bag with a pair of underwear - new with tags

In the late 1970's, there was a man who thought there was a serious shortage of underwear in America.  Because of this, he decided to go into the manufacturing business solely to produce underwear and to ensure that everyone had at least one pair.  His goal was to walk across America and put one on every street corner - you know, just like stop signs.  They called him Johnny Underwear and he is still walking to this day depositing underwear in the most unusual places.

Found:  A $5 bill rolled up in an empty pack of cigarettes  - This one is obvious.  Everyone knows that when you buy a pack of cigarettes, you are throwing your money out the window.

There's many other stories to tell - like the beer carton filled with empty bottles of beer - I imagined that one to be sad and didn't want to include it in my story.  You know - like DUI's and accidents and so on.  There's not much interesting about empty pepsi bottles and candy wrappers and other mundane stuff.  But stay tuned - someday I hope to tell you about the winning lottery ticket I found......


  1. I wish Johnny Underwear would come by my driveway...

  2. Glenda, those are cute stories. You have a fun imagination.
    It is truly interesting the things that can be found that others throw out.

    Blessings to you and your family today.

  3. Me too Marlene. The ones I found were a size 5 and bikinis to boot. Not very useful to me, lol.


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