Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, Monday - Can't Trust that Day
Well, I solved my M&M problem today - I just ate them all. Now I can walk around the house in peace – or maybe I should say – now I can waddle around the house in peace. It’s hard to carry around 10 more pounds than you’re accustomed to carrying. It’s like strapping two 5 pound bags of sugar around your waist…and it’s literally around my waist. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if it were more evenly distributed – say, like my wrists and ankles have always been skinny, and my fingers too – why doesn’t some of the fat go there? Or even on the bottom of my feet – no-one would notice it there and I could use some extra cushioning to keep my feet from hurting. Oh, and elbows – they could use some rounding out so I wouldn’t bump my funny bone all the time. I could certainly do with some fat puffed into these “little fine lines” all over my face (we won’t call them wrinkles). Or maybe I could harness some of that fluffy stuff, you know like in my bra for more of an hourglass figure instead of a Michelin Man figure. Too bad it doesn’t work that way. Oh well, with the M&M’s out of the way, maybe I can get down to business. I will go to the grocery store and buy veggies, cheese and lean meats. And since my hens are on strike, I’ll have to buy some eggs. But I won’t start this weekend. We all know there’s a rule that says you cannot, and I mean cannot, start a diet any day of the week except Monday.